We all have fears.
However, what we often don’t do is understand how much our fears have a negative impact on achieving goals. Maybe…fear has become such a “normal” way of life for us that we don’t even realize what’s happening when we feel fear. I know I feel fear, and I’ve seen firsthand how fear has kept many of the amazing people I’ve worked with over the years from achieving their goals—both big and small. And let’s be honest: It can be scary to try new things! But…when we better understand the fear and how it affects us and our goals, we can face our fears and accomplish some pretty darn amazing things!
As we walk into a new season, setting goals is something I always look forward to. So let's dive into fear and see how we can come out stronger by the end of this season.
What is Fear
Before we get into goal setting, let's break down what fear actually is. I know it seems simple, but trust me, it could be bubbling just under the surface and you don't even know it! Fear is responsible for keeping us safe, protecting us, and alerting us to potential dangers and threats. When we feel fear, we can react both physically and emotionally. Physically, we can experience increased heart rate, sweating, and higher adrenaline levels - a "fight or flight" response, that is automatic.
While the physical reactions to fear can be powerful, the emotional reactions can often be just as powerful, but we may not even recognize that they're associated with the fear we're feeling. Here are some of the ways fear can affect us emotionally, and these reactions can range in intensity:
Nervousness
Anxiety
Overwhelm
Dread
Panic
Loss of Control
Fear is very real, but, sometimes we let our fears take charge of our lives in negative ways, and this is not a joyful way to live. I have an acronym I love for FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. I can't say this enough, it is healthy to experience real fear - the type that is meant to protect us from harm and danger. However, when we fall into the rabbit hole of FEAR, it can keep us from achieving our goals and living life to its fullest in some ways we might not even realize.
What Are Some Ways Fear Can Keep Us From Living?
See if any of these pulls or triggers something for you:
Procrastination: If we’re afraid to do something new, we’ll put off doing that thing.
Perfectionism: Even though we know that perfection is 100% unrealistic, we often get it in our heads that we need to do something perfectly, and those perfectionistic feelings can keep us from achieving our goals. If we can’t be perfect, why even try, right?
Rejection: No one wants to feel rejected. No one wants to feel like they don’t matter or don’t fit in. So, the safest thing to do when facing this fear is nothing. Doing nothing equals no rejection.
Judgment: We might ask ourselves, “What will others think? What if I don’t do this thing right?” Often, we let what we think others will think of us keep us from working on our goals.
Success: We all want to be successful, right? That’s the goal. But…what if we achieve this goal but can’t sustain it? What if we backslide in our progress? What if we don’t like how our lives will change if we’re successful? What if success doesn’t “feel” like we think it should and we’re disappointed? All of these questions point to a fear of success and can keep us from even trying to achieve our goals.
Again…we all feel fear. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. If you feel fear, especially when starting on a new goal. You’re not alone. You’re in some amazing company. It’s time to stop doing these 3 things when it comes to our fears:
New Rules to Live By
#1 STOP BEATING OURSELVES UP BECAUSE WE HAVE FEAR
#2 STOP LETTING OUR FEARS KEEP US FROM PURSUING AND ACHIEVING OUR GOALS
#3 STOP LETTING FEAR BE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT OF OUR LIVES
Identify Your Fears
If you're not aware of them, you can't address them. Journaling can come in super helpful here. Make it a habit to write down your fears (any and all fears, no matter how small or insignificant you think they may be), when you experience them (What's going on? How do you feel?), and then ask yourself if any of your fears are real, or could be real. Then, for each ask yourself what the changes are of this fear actually coming to pass. It's helpful to understand both realistic fears so you can better understand which fears you can control and which ones you can't.
Take Action Against Any Realistic Fears
"Action is the antidote to fear." Beautifully said by Ruth Soukup, and I completely agree! One of the best ways to fight fear is through simply doing something. With fears about your health, for example, here are a few tips to decrease health-related fears: Eat nutritious meals, move your body, drink water, get adequate sleep, introduce a self-care routine, and so on.
Use Fear In Positive Ways
Fear can be healthy! It can be used as a catalyst for growth and as a marker or an indicator that what you are about to embark upon has the potential to be AMAZING! So, whenever possible, turn fear from an enemy to an ally and use it as a source of information and motivation for what you want to accomplish.
Create or Join a Community For Support!
Fear loves for you to work alone. When you're part of a community of support where you feel comfortable sharing your fears, that community can help you put your fears into their proper perspective. Maybe someone in your community or group has already experienced the same fears as you, and now you can tackle them TOGETHER!
Understand The Cost of Your Fears
Ask yourself: Self, What have my fears cost me in the past? What goals haven't I achieved or what things haven't I done due to fear? Often, you don't realize what fear has cost you, so you have no way in understanding the cost vs. benefit of your fears. Knowledge is power, and knowledge about your fears can be just the thing to propel you forward in your goals!
"Fear is an idea-crippling, experience-crushing, success-stalling inhibitor inflicted only by yourself." ~ Stephanie Melish
You got this! Remember, when it comes to your fears, you do have a choice. You can let them rule you, or you can look them in the face and charge ahead - and rise above those fears! Let's make the latter choice. It's up to YOU!
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